i have been thinking about things recently, trying to put them in a new light, which is something i do compusively when i am upset about the way things are going. "it can't be THAT bad" i say to myself, searching in the innocent and sort of sad face of my 6'5" co-worker. i try to remember what i used to be like and compared that to what i'm like now, and i think i'm a lot better. i feel better, even with the insight i gained by learning how to take risks, into the risks everyone else does and doesn't take. taking risks- it's the kind of phrase you hear in self-help books. like that weird book steve wood read at my party, that a weird fat person gave to me. what's it called. that stupid fucking book that is probably one of the things that is defiling society's foundations with its corporate speak and so on.
Anyway it's good to know this now and have something to be mad at. But it turns out I am mad at almost everyone and it's hard to figure out what to say to people. I know that I used to be in this nightmare world, able to wildly misinterpret everything that happened around me, anything that was said to me, etc.
"how to make friends and influence people"- that is the book. this woman walked/waddled me to barnes and noble on my last day of work (2001), bought this for me, and then as we were walking back, we passed a haagen-daaz. she saw the sign and said, ooh haagen daaz and then bought one for herself.
but then this therapist gave me this self help book. if you google my name you will see my amazon book review of it and little else. "take more risks" it said. that was interesting, so i did. take more risks. what is a risk? what are YOU risking in the past present and future. it also didn't say, take well-thought-out risks etc. anyway.
how am i supposed to tell my co-workers and stranger to "take more risks"? this is really hard to deal with as a challenge. certainly more so between the sexes. "take more risks".
would i even been thinking about this, helping other people, if i were happy? if i were rivers cuomo, or if i was the president, would i even give half a shit about this? probably i would be doing a better job of actually being helpful to other people if i weren't obsessing over bad ideas like saying awkward things to me coworkers. THE END
2 comments:
Risk is pretty relative, you know? What's risky to one is easy for another. Like for someone with lactose intolerance, it's risky to eat Häagen Dazs. Don't listen to self-help books. They're poorly written, and they don't have any actual insight.
dear geoffrey,
nice use of a diaresis. ok? hello. yeah that is a MAJORLY good point. camper of the day.
Post a Comment